A Ziploc Bag of Germs
Connie game me a Ziploc bag of germs. "Gee, thanks."
What you're supposed to do with the germs is reproduce them and pass 'em off to friends, kind-of like a chain letter. The title of the hand-written instruction is, "Amish Friendship Bread".
A calculation explained below says, germs (past my custody) have a chance of survival of exactly 47.5%.
After a week of agitating and rot, it's necessary to feed the bubbling microbes. This adds mass to the blob. That way, it's big enough to divide and share. <evil laughter>
Strangely, it smells yummy.
Germ chance of survival (GCS) 47.5% is calculated as the average of the germ odds of survival (GOS) in each giftees' guardianship. There are four giftees below. Check their blogs in about a month to prove the calculation.
GIFTEE GOS
Constance 14%
Sarah 97%
Anna 45%
Maegmariel 34%
The criteria for gifting:
- Giftee has a blog
- Giftee has access to a kitchen
- I like the person
There is some concern that I will get in trouble with the State Department of Agriculture for interstate germ propagation being the bags were distributed to North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska and California*.
Germ packs look like this:
Jealous, aren't you?! (Kate, you hush!)
Here's what you get:
When it comes time to eat:
- Don't imagine anything about the origin of the germs
- Allow the bread to cool on racks before slicing
Just maybe my inspiring story, and being the giftees are story-tellers themselves, the germs will fare a good chance of survival (at least for blogs' sake).
I doubt it.
*So long the package didn't explode in transit due to low cargo-jet cabin pressure and microbe fermentation in the ziploc.
Why do I have to hush? Apparently none of your giftees have ever received this special present before. Otherwise, they NEVER WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED!
I'm all about truth telling, you know.
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My 'bag of germs' (what it is really infested with are yeasts) survived as far as the cooking process, but after that was quickly devoured. It got a thumbs up from everybody in the family, especially Maria and Dad. (In fact, there was some mysterious bites taken out of the loaf, and I'm pretty sure it was Maria.
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